In 2017, Semmi Djabrail, a resident of St Petersburg, had a terrible accident that changed her life: she lost her right leg, fell into a coma and suffered multiple injuries. She had always dreamed of moving to the US, hoping that a career would await her in New York, but life was a cruel twist and she stayed in Russia to change people’s attitudes towards people with disabilities. Today, with 179,000 followers on Instagram, she inspires not only with her stunning photoshoots, but also with the texts she shares and her attitude towards life.
Semmi Djabrail was born in the Caucasus, went to university at the age of 15 and decided to move to St Petersburg. Here, she worked in a small private bar, which became like a second home, tried to climb the ladder of her modelling career, was active in sports and started her own Instagram blog. However, she did not hide that such a comfort zone has always been oppressive.
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“I wanted to improve, but when I came here I realised that St Petersburg is also a city of dead ambitions. It’s hard to make it here, people often don’t find themselves here, so I wanted to go to the US.” She wanted to make dolls and have a small, cosy private workshop. “Just before the car accident, everything was planned and I was already welcomed in New York.”
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In early autumn 2017, a car carrying Semmi and a friend crashed into a safety barrier between St Petersburg and Vyborg. “After the impact, I came to my senses and told my friend that I couldn’t move. I could hardly see anything, everything in front of my eyes was very faint. My spine, my ribs, my pelvis, one leg was broken and the other was torn off, but I hardly felt any pain.
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“I had to wait a very long time for an ambulance and I will never forget it, because life seemed to flow out of me in a war with blood. I didn’t feel my body at all, but I just tried not to die because I still thought I hadn’t done that much. I had all sorts of thoughts: Damn, am I really dying? Really? Already? A man came running up, gently slapping my cheeks and demanding me not to close my eyes, and by the time the ambulance arrived, we were both nearly dead, had waited a long time and lost a lot of blood. The doctors started cutting my clothes at lightning speed and I even tried to stop them. I was wearing a worn men’s T-shirt and a sweatshirt given to me by a friend, which I really liked.” – said the girl.
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Five major operations were carried out in the hospital, one lasting ten hours. Semmi’s right leg was amputated, she suffered multiple injuries and was in a coma for six days. “When I woke up, I thought it had only been three hours, but it had been six days.” “I was so dizzy from the high dose of medication that I told the nurses I had fallen off a cliff and was among some naked people. I realise now that they listen to such nonsense on a regular basis, but at the time I really believed it.” “As I looked under the blanket, I mentally prayed that they had sewn it on. But unfortunately, my leg was not there.”
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“I was in hospital for a month and a half. Crowds of acquaintances came, and the room was bursting with flowers and gifts. I didn’t expect it. Yes, I was surrounded by good people and it was wonderful. But am I really worth it? In fact, I don’t think there is anything in me right now that needs to be loved. I always felt like I needed to earn a good attitude.”
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“I decided that if all I think about is how bad things are with me and how I am somehow different, bad, horrible, ugly without my leg, then my life will only get worse. Why hurt yourself? Why bother thinking about things that cannot be changed? I have had appointments with psychologists and psychotherapists, but each time I felt bored and tired. Therefore, I am my own doctor in this matter. Now I have clarity in my head, I often talk about it without pain, and that’s what keeps me going.”
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A year after the accident, Semmi decided to have a prosthetic leg. She raised money for it, with the help of family, friends and even Instagram followers. The cost of the prosthesis was a hefty 4 million roubles (61 000 USD). Two months after her successful prosthetic leg, Semmi posted her first photo with her new prosthetic leg and received many nice messages and support.
“After the accident, I became even more aware of how far behind the West we are in terms of our attitude towards people with disabilities. I don’t like the word ‘disabled’, even though we have it in our vocabulary. I am a full-fledged girl, I have everything. But my grandmothers are very sorry for me, they want to give me money. For example, I am well dressed, I am in a wheelchair, I am waiting for a car with a friend, and they give me coins. All I have to do is ask them with my eyes puffed out, “Grandma, what are you doing?”
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“One of my main goals is to try to change this attitude. I don’t want to be seen as just a disabled person. I need people to understand that different doesn’t mean ‘bad’ or ‘scary’. This xenophobia slows down our society, people are afraid of everything. Nobody limits me – even though I have a prosthetic leg. I don’t need to feel sorry for myself: I sleep, socialise, eat, do my own thing, and live, just like everyone else. I don’t think all day: ‘Oh, how can I live without a leg’.
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I now have several projects aimed at changing the paradigm of how people with disabilities are perceived. Filmmaking and interviewing is not a matter of vanity and ambition, I want to help those who are in a similar situation. They, like me, should not feel uncomfortable just because they are different from others. Now I have Instagram to help me, and without advertising anything, just being honest about my experiences and what happened, I got a lot of attention from the environment. And now I can also contribute by raising funds myself, by donating to help people who have been through similar events.” The girl continues to take part in photo shoots, and writes a blog and her Instagram account is growing daily.
